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Girls. I have so many thoughts about them. I am one, for starters. I also know a lot of them. Some very personally, others not so much and most others not at all. Some girls I know are very strong, very independent people.  Some women I could sit and talk to for hours about gender stereotypes, the ones we hate, the ones we can understand, the ones we try actively to break down.  I think about the way I’d like to be viewed as a female in society, although I admit I do not always live up to my own standards.  I am more influenced by social media and my environment than I would like to admit somedays.  I shave my armpits, I wear make up, I have a boyfriend who I let call me “babe”. Sometimes I worry that side of me is all the people will ever see.  I’m on Facebook, I’m on Tumblr and I tweet just like everyone else.  And what if, when looking at my internet personality or even meeting me briefly, someone passes judgement and sees only the “feminine”, socially constructed parts about me? And further more, should it bother me? I often find myself torn between being a one woman power house of equality, and a 21 year old girl who like drinking cheap white wine, shopping and baking cookies for my friends (by friends, I really mean just me).  However, I also enjoy educating myself, empowering myself with knowledge.  And sometimes this knowledge is in direct conflict with what I do on a daily basis.  

I have read articles, some online and others in class, of women who seem bitter about the struggles we face as a gender.  These are women who design their lives around fighting against the stereotypes that hold us down.  They fight for more than kids and a kitchen.  They fight for more than curlers and cocktails.  I feel bad for these women, at times. In fact, I feel just as bad for them as I do for the girls whose life revolves around kids, kitchens, curlers and cocktails. The kind of girls who believe their position in life is one of submission, looking prettying and marrying rich.  It seems there are often only two ends of the spectrum publicly portrayed; those who do not concern themselves with paving a new path for women, and those whose sole mission in life is to do so.

I do not fit comfortably in either of these categories. Neither do many of my friends and acquaintances.  I have thought about this for many hours, and usually tell myself something along the lines of, “Hmph, I guess I’m just neither…” in order to put my mind to rest. But what I have found in the end, is that I can be both of these things at the very same time.  What matters the most, what is all comes down to at the end of the day, is self-respect. And I’m speaking across gender here, this concept is universal. Self-respect shows in a person, regardless of their beliefs and lifestyle choices.  I do not look a certain way strictly to please males, I do not look a certain way strictly to please feminists.  I look, act, feel and live a certain way strictly because it pleases me.  I stand up for myself when I feel I should.  I speak my mind when I have something to say.  I share my thoughts on gender equality with people when it’s appropriate. I put on a dress when I want to feel girly. I paint my nails when I’m bored and dye my hair when I wonder if I can pull of being blonde (I think I can, by the way). And I am done with questioning which category I’m in and making my own; the self-respecting, self defined human.